their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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