I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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