Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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