Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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