Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm at about main and main street
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
