I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
