Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
