O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
