Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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