You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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