Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry about my life...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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