Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
