dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
