It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
