you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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