Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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