Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
