Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
