just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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