just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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