in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
