At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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