I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I stole a fireplace last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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