i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
