Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
