You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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