You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
