hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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