dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
