at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
