My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
