I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
