Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
