i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
