I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
