btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
