question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You ruined the universe
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
