i need an iv and a liver transplant
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
