I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
