I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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