Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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