just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
