How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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