I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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