I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pants 0. Shit 1.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize
