I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
