I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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