You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
