haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
