Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
