So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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